By Dr. Archibald Musculus Cheddar, PhD

Life is like a big Swiss cheese wheel – full of disappointing holes and gaps between delicious cheese.

A patient of mine named Pepper the Hamster (Pepper granted permission to stray from doctor-patient confidentiality), moped in my office for three hours. It is important to discuss your feelings openly and without shame, and remember to pay your psychologist at the end of each hour. Pepper told me that life feels like a hamster wheel: a lot of tiring work with no tangible progress. She hopes to make something of her singing talent and save the world in the process.

“Pepper,” I said. “I grew up with thirty-three siblings in a small crevice in a Chicago alleyway. I became close with my older brother, Chester, who was my mentor and guided me through difficult life experiences. Even when my beloved brother Chester engaged in illicit mob activity and, effectively, severed our relationship, I was fortunate enough to have known him for the years prior,” I sipped coffee and looked at her, intensely. “Now, Pepper, what should I have done after Chester’s departure?”

Pepper shrugged, her glazed eyes stared at the ceiling (the ceiling was the wooden floor of the British Parliament building). “Given up?” she responded, weakly.

“No!” I declared. “I pursued psychology at the University of Chicago, became a Rhodes Scholar at the University of Oxford, and worked hard to build my own psychology practice in the heart of London. Are you familiar with the Greek myth of Atlas?”

Pepper nodded, she had studied Greek mythology as a girl, and I knew she had done so.

“Atlas bore the weight of the Heavens on his shoulders, a punishment inflicted upon him by Zeus.”

“So?”

“Why do you think you should bear the world’s entire burden when not even a god would willingly choose to? Of course, there are moments where we must bear tremendous responsibility. Does Atlas lose hope and drop the Heavens? No. Even in his punishment, he retains strength so others do not suffer. We must be strong with ourselves if we wish to be strong for others.”

A Carl Jung quote that hangs between my office bookshelves reads: We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. You must accept the situation you are currently in if you desire proper growth, and do so without self-induced whimsical fantasies distorting reality. Pepper wastes hours scrolling through social media brain rot. This is the bad type of dopamine that sends chemical reward surges at the expense of future contentment. It’s easy, mind numbing, and draining.

Pepper wants to be a respected musician without the hard work or practice to achieve this goal… so I thought.

“My singing scares me,” she said suddenly.

“Scares you?”

“In a way, yes. It forces me to confront my flaws in a speciality I am self-conscience about. When I start writing a song, or learning an instrument, I consider myself garbage, give up, and indulge the social media brain rot routine.”

“Your music could change the world if you hone the craft.”

“I know this.”

“Even if it doesn’t change the world, it could change someone’s world who needed to hear your song.”

Pepper nodded. “What should I do?”

“You are a songwriter. Lock your phone away. When you doom scroll on social media, you are putting money in the pockets for someone else’s dream. Designate an area for creativity or functionality, such as a bedroom or a corner. All distractions, including your phone, do not enter this area. Dreams slip away like a loose balloon if we lose our grip; sometimes the wind will bring back a dream that seemed gone forever. Don’t give up hope!”

“What if I do write a song and perform it? What if no one likes it?”

“What if everyone likes it?” I retorted. “You’ll never know unless you try.”

“And if I do try and they still don’t?”

“Life is a Swiss cheese wheel. Scrumptious, filling, and delightful. We have to keep going even when we chew ourselves to an empty hole because there is always more cheese on the other side.”

Pepper is just one of many clients, each with unique stories along the same struggles. Cherish and nurture your precious dreams! When you reach inevitable hardship on your journey, say: “Dr. Archibald Musculus Cheddar believes in me so I must persevere!”

Pepper’s first released song “Crepuscular Party Animal” soared to Number 1 on the French Music Charts, a track so ethereal that even the microphone floats.

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Dr. Archibald Musculus Cheddar is an award-winning author and the Faculty Chair of the Psychology Department at the University of Cheeseter. His best-selling book, What Of Mice and Men?, is a groundbreaking work analyzing the shared consciousness between humankind and mice. His British offices include a nook beneath the British Parliament and a cupboard in Buckingham Palace. His American office is located on a windowsill in the John Hancock Tower overlooking the Chicago skyline.